|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Jingle Bells This entry was posted on 12/20/2007 9:04 PM and is filed under uncategorized. The days are shorter and baby it's cold outside! Christmas is definitely approaching. Coming home in the late afternoon I frequently find Bertha wrapped in her favorite lime green throw, sipping hot tea and glued to an afternoon talk show.
I was running a little later than usual today. Loaded down with bags, I managed to unlock the front door, step forward and crash into Bertha sending groceries flying in every direction. I dropped the few bags I still had control of in the nearby chair, "Bertha, what are you doing?" Bertha reached down to retrieve a run away orange before it hid under the sofa, "I'm going Christmas shopping!" Indeed, she was dressed for holiday shopping in skin-tight red velvet capris and matching form-fitting, décolleté jacket trimmed in white faux fur. I did a quick double take, that fur closely resembled the cat! Her look was completed by red, very pointy-toed, jingle-belled stilettos. Perhaps this is the look you get when you cross Dollywood with the North Pole. I could almost see the delight on Santa's face when Mrs. C. came into the workshop dressed like that--ooh, la, la naughty is nice! I brought my focus back to reality, "Who are you shopping for? I thought we checked everyone off our list last week." "Oh we did. But I was just watching Oprah and she gave all these wonderful gifts to everyone in her audience..." "Oh, I hate I missed it. I always love to see all the neat things that she gives everyone. But what's that got to do with you going out shopping again? Did you see something you just couldn't live without?" Bertha shooed the cat off her soapbox. She quickly relocated her 'perch' as the disgruntled feline meandered by on its way to the other room. I was relieved to see that it was fully fluffy and white. Bertha's stilettos jingled as she climbed aboard the soapbox, grabbing my attention just in time for her latest dissertation. "The show just got me thinking how nice it would be to share gifts with all of our friends who are reading our blog. They are sort of like our audience." "That is a wonderful idea. I just don't understand how we can do it--there must be millions of them!" "Not to worry," Bertha waved her hands reassuringly, "I've got it all figured out. Now leave my soapbox right here and I'll be back in a few..." With that, she hopped down and was out the door leaving me to put up the groceries and ponder exactly what she was up to. True to her word, Bertha was home and on the soapbox quicker than a three year-old can rip through a stack of presents on Christmas morning. Her purchases were stuffed to overflowing in a large lime green gift bag with lots of lime green and flamingo pink ribbon. "I think I'll give the gifts to you and let you describe them for our readers. That way they will get virtual gifts." "If you say so...I never heard of virtual gifts. And I hope I don't get any this year. I like real stuff!" "Then you can keep he real stuff after you describe it. How's that for a deal?" Bertha reached in the bag and pulled out just about the strangest thing I had ever seen. It was a cap...I guess. The part that fit on your head was bright pink and must have been the body of a flamingo, because the neck and head--beak and all--went right out the top of it. And there were legs that hung down with duck looking feet. "Ta-dah!" "Oh, my, I'm sorry I asked for the real stuff! What in the world is that?" I ducked as Bertha threw it at me. "Well, its is a flamingo cap of course." Bertha looked proud of her purchase. "But why would you get a flamingo cap for our readers? Even a virtual flamingo cap is pretty weird!" I examined it more closely and couldn't resist putting it on my head. "See, I knew you'd like it! Besides it has a great purpose." She paused as I looked int he mirror. "Flamingos remind me to believe in myself. When I see a flamingo I know that I can be or do or have anything that I believe. You haven't forgotten the trip to Miami have you? "Of course not. You believed you were going and you did. And of course there were flamingos planted all over our yard at the time!" Wearing the flamingo must have made me wise. I continued, "So the virtual gift you want to give our readers is the gift of believing in themselves?" "Absolutely, I knew you'd catch on!" Bertha reached in the bag and pulled out a pair of black high-heeled sandals with two rows or rhinestones. They were just like the ones I had borrowed from her for my friend's wedding a few years ago. "I'll gladly take those; just don't throw them at me." I held my hands across my face...just in case. "Why high-heels?" I asked through the little triangle formed by my outstretched fingers. "Oh you know the better mood I'm in...the higher my heels are. That's why the Joy Meter in our Where the Joys Are Journal is various heel heights." "You're right. You've always said that a good mood starts one thought at a time. That's how we get our emotional energy soaring. Here's wishing our friends days and days of stilettos!" I reached over and snagged the shoes before she changed her mind and kept them. "What's next?" On cue, Bertha produced a canary yellow bikini with orange polka-dots. "How about this little beauty?" "The operative word being l-i-t-t-l-e!" I mumbled under my breath. I hoped she didn't intend for me to wear that thing. But it was sailing through the air in my direction faster than eight flying reindeer. "Relax; you don't have to wear it today. It's just a reminder of the time it takes between when you decide you want something and when you actually get it. Think what a mess it would be if we had a desire and it immediately happened." The thoughts of sixteen new cars sitting in the driveway made me smile, but the thoughts of my pants falling off in the mall when I suddenly became a size eight made me laugh out loud. "You've got a point there, sister. Let's give them the gift of relaxing about their desires." Next Bertha pulled out tragedy and comedy theater masks. "Okay, I'm stumped on this one. What do the masks represent?" "Truth," Bertha held up tragedy, "We always have a choice what we think about. We don't have to think about tragedy just because it's true." She dropped it behind her and raised up comedy, "There are so many more wonderful thrughs we can think about..." "You mean like instead of focusing on the price of gas we can think about how wonderful our cars are and how your '56 Thunderbird is such an awesome piece of machinery?" "Exactly, let's give them the choice of truth." Bertha dug down in the bag and came out with a small round thing that resembled a pocket watch. "For those days when we aren't sure where our lives are going, here's a compass for happiness." Bertha must have realized that I was confused and continued, "You know that when I'm happy and I feel good that my life is on track." "I see, the compass reminds you that where you are going is determined by how you are feeling in the moment." I reached over and took the compass to see if it was pointing due "H". Of course it was! "The next item up for bid is rose colored glasses, " Bertha laughed as she held them up. "These are perfect for seeing things through eyes of appreciation. I wish appreciation for all of our readers." I did a quick summary of the gifts: belief, emotional energy, relaxing, truth, happiness, and appreciation. "Bertha do you realize that if we take the first letter of each gift they spell B-E-R-T-H-A?" She grinned knowingly. Before she could answer, the gift bag started shaking and carrying on something fierce. Bertha reached over to settle it...but she was too late. The bag turned over on its side and the cat bolted out and into the other room shooting Bertha an accusing look as it fled. "Now how did the cat get in there? I would never dream of giving the cat away!' "Yeah, right...and to all a good night!" Jane Bertha would love to share her virtual gifts with you any time of year through Coaching with Bertha. Send us an e-mail to info@berthasize.com to schedule a complimentary appointment. Jane Carroll Loving Life Matters RN, BSN,Author, Loving Life Coach Speaker, Radio Host www.berthasize.com info@berthasize.com |
|
Copyright 2005 http://BERTHASBLOGGING.BERTHASIZE.COM. All rights reserved.